Opinion Reply

Mysterious disappearance of Romania's top trillionaire.



Romanian society in shock! Foremost trillionaire disappears into unknown after massive nervous breakdown. While everything is still hush-hush, our reporters have managed to get an exclusive inside account from one of B.P.'s personal friends.

At his request we shall not make his identity public.



Reporter: Ok, so, everyone's just dying to know: how did this happen? It just so out of the blue!

Friend: Well...erm *cough* I don't know what to say about that. Those who were close to him knew it was just a matter of time before he snapped.

R: Really? What do you mean?

F: For starters...

R: Sorry to interrupt, but that's right! Please tell us everything, right from the very start. It'd be easier to follow.

F: Erm...Ok. Give me a minute to gather my thoughts. *shifts on his chair* Do you mind if I smoke?

R: Please do.

*lights one up* At first everything was a bit unusual. You know...he was just renowned for his laziness, but when the jackpot hit and people started to order, he was so...so ecstatic(!) that he actually *gasp* counted his first hundred dollar bill !

"One. Yippee."

But, you can imagine, when the millions started to roll in he fell in his usual apathy: doing nothing all day.

We thought his servants would manage to stir his attention, they started to weigh the boxes of money in front of him (you know, after the first month we figured it was just pointless to keep counting, so we stuffed the money in boxes and weighed them, it went much faster)

I think he actually smiled when he heard about this, but, of course, after a few thousands 100 pound box of dollars he told them to do that elsewhere.



R: Sorry again to interrupt, you said after the first month. That was just about when pretty much every flower salesman, gift maker and Valentine's Day distributor had gone bust, wasn't it?

F: Yes. I guess that's about right...*cough*

R: Ok, go on.

F: As things REALLY took off he had a few...let's say...unpleasant phone calls.

R: Could you elaborate on that?

F: For starters, J.K.Rowling was furious! Nobody cared anymore about Harry Potter Book 7, because nobody had any money left! ING and AIG bankrupted, because people simply didn't care about their lives...and...*puts out his smoke and lights up another* and the list can go on: Bill Gates had no one left to sell his Alta Vista, Google also went bust-who cared about search engines when the world was hooked on only one website? - Hollywood closed down; Tom Cruise divorced Katie and moved to Pakistan so he could post a message for each of his 73 wives... really, you know I could go on for ages... *wipes his forehead* I mean, unless you've been living in a box underground for the past year.

R: Finally, we're getting to the hot spot of this interview: what happened? What prompted him to give up his life of uber-luxury for...for what?



F: It was all because of that girl! You know, the one with the post... *takes a deep breath*

R: Ah yes...The Opinion.

F: That's right! She was the first to make him realize the kind of man he was: a lazy but fortunate parasite; feeding on people's weakness for love.

R: So, mysterious trillzillionaire (i.e. someone who has a trillion billions) disappears and no one knows where or what...or?

F: He's off in the Russian tundra. *smiles*



R: The tundra?! What on earth is he doing there?

F: He's digging in mines, plowing the land; you know, REAL work. He says he's never been happier than now, when he eats nothing but dry grass and drinks his own sweat. That girl really put things in perspective for him.

Everyone should go out and find real work. I'm just surprised no one learned a lesson: toy makers, clothes makers, gift makers! All should be ashamed! *slightly agitated* Where's the work? *eyes start to bulge* Where's the sweat? Where's the blood? The nerve they have! I don't know how they can sleep at night.. *sighs*

R: Wow...I mean...Wow! That was really much more info that I had hoped for. Thank you very much. You're obviously a bit excited right now. Thank you again and good luck. And good luck to him too.

F: No problem. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to speak about the real B.P.



So there you have it. Mysterious disappearance or not, seems the world can get back on track after having been taken by storm by trillzillionaire/ex-sloth B.P.